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The Obligatory (Not) E3 2023 Round-Up, Part 2: Sifting through the Slop

Alright, it's been a while but we're back again to cover the PC Gaming Show, the Xbox Showcase and the Ubisoft Forward. After this, that's it, that's all, we're done here. PC Gaming Show The Most Questionable Stuff 3. Road to Vostok (???) Choosing to look down on a game for overt familiarity from the word ‘go’, even if all it has done at this point is have its existence announced to the world, is not inherently an act to be proud of. Much of gaming iterates and builds upon what came before, much of the medium as it stands (for good or ill) exists because someone looked at a past work and were inspired to develop their own take on the material. How many excellent games would cease to be if people decided that “it’s just a clone of X” was a valid argument in itself? I establish this now to make it clear that I do not roll my eyes at Road to Vostok for taking the form of a sparsely-populated shooter set in a post-apocalyptic wilderness area… but rather because it loo

Kurt's E3 2018 Round-Up Spectacular! Part 2

Square Enix
Rather Interesting - Kingdom Hearts III
Okay, I'm not so much of a grump that Disney's big, flashy, multi-million dollar exercise in nostalgia pandering - and also some Square Enix role-playing - can't warm my weary heart. Sora and company look swell in their new costumes, the mix of Disney's cartoon fantasy aesthetic and Final Fantasy's anime influences positively shine in high-definition, and by god (all the gods) the worlds on display are astounding.

Monsters, Inc.! Tangled! Frozen! Wreck-It Ralph! That third Pirates of the Caribbean movie that went on a bit too long, yet still managed to be the last time one of those films was any good! Whatever weird and borderline convoluted turns the game takes, I sense that Kingdom Hearts III will pack more than enough charm and splendor in its every seam to keep people hooked.


Runner-up - The Keith David narration
Spoiler: the Square Enix presentation was bad. Said very little, only showed off a handful of games in brief spurts, and ended before we had time to register any of it.

But you know what isn't bad? Keith David. He is cool.

He could narrate the most mundane and underwhelming shit - which he did - and it'd almost make the damn thing seem compelling. Hope he got paid well, at least.

Has Potential - The Awesome Adventures of Captain Spirit
Life Is Strange caught people by surprise back in 2015, or so I've heard (I'll play it, it looks interesting, haven't sat down to Telltale-adjacent adventure games in a spell). Then the prequel miniseries Before The Storm enjoyed comparable - if not universal - acclaim, leaving players yearning for news on the next full-scale Life Is Strange experience.

Captain Spirit does not appear to be that follow-up, but it's being pitched as a bite-sized standalone work that will also tease elements of Life Is Strange 2. Not having much in the way of background on this series, I nevertheless found the focus on a child's imagined adventures and the contrast with a more lonely winter cottage setting to be nifty. And being released for free to boot, it's difficult to argue against giving this one a look.


Runner-up - The Quiet Man
I like the team working on this (Human Head Studios, responsible for the original Prey) and I appreciate the decision to center a d/Deaf or hard of hearing protagonist. Yet the trailer doesn't offer much in the way of information other than "There'll probably be some combat, likely another offshoot of the Batman: Arkham system because modern action game." Hard to know what to make of this one, though certainly I'm hopeful.

Not Especially Impressive - Just Cause 4
For real, I'm quietly wishing that this doesn't end up being a case of diminishing returns. Because if Just Cause 4 is exactly as rote and overly familiar as its trailer seemed to indicate, then I've got to pass on this one. I got my fill of parachuting and grappling across a vast jungle environment back in Just Cause 2, I'm good on that front.

Please note that I am indeed aware of the heavily armored soldiers, hints of advanced future tech and the big damn tornado featured in the trailer. Those do nothing for me.


Runner-up - Babylon's Fall
When pitching a new property to your audience, it might not be the best idea to make your big announcement a lore-heavy information dump for a world no one outside of your company knows, featuring characters we don't know or care about. That approach is what Platinum Games went with in regards to Babylon's Fall, though, so I guess we're just going to have to wait and see how this goes.

Ubisoft
Rather Interesting - Assassin's Creed: Odyssey
Colour me surprised, an Assassin's Creed game after IV actually seems promising. The ancient Greece shown off is astoundingly detailed and enthralling, I dig the hell out of the romance system included here AND the fact that gay romance is a thing here (Woooooo!!!), the combat seems to be building on what Origins set up nicely, and the nods to Greek mythology are especially enticing as a former student of literature.


Runner-up - Starlink: Battle for Atlas
The closest god-damn thing to a Star Fox game in years, with potential to be the best one since... dunno, the Nintendo 64 days? Look, it's a bright and energetic space combat game, I was going to be interested regardless of Fox McCloud & co's presence - that added element just makes everything so much sweeter.

Has Potential - Beyond Good & Evil 2
The crowdsourcing of game content, artwork, writing and so on for BG&E 2 troubles me, coming across as a way of exploiting fans for work while also letting the dev team off the hook for any issues with the resulting game (i.e. Ubisoft after release going, "Hey, it's not OUR fault the sequel sucked, YOU guys decided to make it all about sexy monkey assassins").  It's unsettling, it reeks of ducking responsibility, and that they made Joseph Gordon-Levitt the face of this initiative further irritates the heck outta me.

With that said, it behooves me to note that the brief clips showing third-person action and glossy space opera cutscenes were rather promising. Still not sure that Beyond Good & Evil warranted a years-prior prequel given what fans of the first game have indicated, but the central crew of anthropomorphic animal space pirates (maybe?) are an instant win in my book. Funny monkey pilots and pig chefs bring out the whimsy in me.


Runner-up - Transference
Not really "into" VR games, kinda scratching my head at their renewed media attention considering that I'd thought we'd settled the question of "can this work as a widespread thing" with the Virtual Boy. But apparently Elijah Wood's company SpectreVision is involved in the production and the trailer's techno-thriller vibe seemed neat, so I'm reasonably hooked right now.

Not Especially Impressive - Skull & Bones
It looks like a stripped-down, less charismatic version of Assassin's Creed IV if it'd also mixed in the dour mood of a Pirates of the Caribbean sequel. And it's got an emphasis on online play, in case the whole proposition didn't seem so appealing already.

Bask in my boundless joy for this totally necessary, not at all years-late-to-the-bandwagon game.


Runner-up - Tom Clancy's The Division 2
Gonna set aside my annoyance at Ubisoft continually claiming that the game ISN'T political* and just note that this seems rather tiresome as "retreads of The Last of Us' particular nature-reclaiming-civilization take on the post-apocalyptic setting" go. The fake microphone banter in the teaser also rubbed me the wrong way - either have actual characters with written dialogue or keep the focus purely on the action, don't be coy and cute about this.

*But for fuck's sake, the game's set in the fucking capital of the fucking United States, it's part of the Tom Clancy brand, AND its plot is specifically about the old government clashing with the new government while bystanders and gangs are caught in the crossfire.  HOW IS THAT NOT POLITICAL?!?

To be continued... in Part 3!

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