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The Obligatory (Not) E3 2023 Round-Up, Part 2: Sifting through the Slop

Alright, it's been a while but we're back again to cover the PC Gaming Show, the Xbox Showcase and the Ubisoft Forward. After this, that's it, that's all, we're done here. PC Gaming Show The Most Questionable Stuff 3. Road to Vostok (???) Choosing to look down on a game for overt familiarity from the word ‘go’, even if all it has done at this point is have its existence announced to the world, is not inherently an act to be proud of. Much of gaming iterates and builds upon what came before, much of the medium as it stands (for good or ill) exists because someone looked at a past work and were inspired to develop their own take on the material. How many excellent games would cease to be if people decided that “it’s just a clone of X” was a valid argument in itself? I establish this now to make it clear that I do not roll my eyes at Road to Vostok for taking the form of a sparsely-populated shooter set in a post-apocalyptic wilderness area… but rather because it loo

Review: ALMA


Developer: Turquesa Studios
Publisher: Turquesa Studios
Release Date: January 17, 2018
Version Played: PC
Copy purchased for review


Some games break my goddamn heart, that's for sure. I see their potential, I recognize full well that there's genuine effort and care being put into (some aspects of) the production, and I brace for the inevitable realization that this work in question just isn't very good.

Alma has wound up being one such game. It drew me in initially with a compelling premise and visual style, before grinding me down to seething contempt with game mechanics as infuriating in practice as they are half-baked in conception. Every time it seemed like something might potentially work - rare as the prospect was - the game ended up pulling out the rug from underneath me.

After the first few instances of this, it soon became clear nothing would redeem the failings of Alma. Not. One. Damn. Thing.



The setup's not half bad, though. Our heroine of choice, the titular Alma, is on a journey to reach the fabled Aztec afterlife and presumably find peace in death. This means crossing through eight levels representing different climate regions (per platformer tradition, there’s a forest level, an ice level, etc.) and overcoming a plethora of hazards, taking in the sights along the way.

Where does it all go wrong? Well, for one, that premise is about as developed as Alma's narrative aspirations become; it's purely an excuse to stage an array of gameplay segments, split up based on visual theme. Alma herself is less a character than a means of pure mechanical progression, a sentient puppet without anything more than the barest of physical traits.

Given that the game is built on the structure of a classically designed side-scroller (run from left to right, one hit and you die, jump to avoid obstacles, the works), the old-fashioned "put visual flair ahead of coherent narrative" design mentality makes sense. Hell, in another context, on another project, it might have even worked... except we're stuck with this game so never mind.



The most pressing issues plaguing Alma primarily centered the experience of PLAYING the damn game, which is to say it's terrible from the outset and grows more untenable over time. The platforming controls are locked to a four-button movement setup, which makes for stiff and jerky jumping and running. It's a control scheme made for a game less dependent on quick, precise movement - exasperated further by the cruel level design.

Death traps aren't carefully placed in this game; they're strewn with reckless abandon. Wind gusts shoot up from the ground, triangular spikes sink and rise in a predetermined pattern. Some levels have setting-specific hazards, such as slippery ice platforms. And all of it is constitutes a one-hit death, sending the player unceremoniously (and in jarringly animated fashion) back to the start of each level.

There’s no mid-level checkpoints either, so even the slightest misstep and there goes your progress. Again, other platformers of this ilk could utilize extreme difficulty in a compelling and functional fashion, but Alma is slapdash in its implementation of various aspects of game design.



Even the Aztec and Mexican mythological imagery feel half-assed in their implementation. I initially loved that a game is willing to engage with a culture and mythology that doesn't often see affectionate and thorough representation in the industry. And some environments actually are quite endearing in their usage of bright colours and seemingly hand-drawn backgrounds.

Unfortunately, this also manages to disappoint as quite a few textures appeared to suffer from artifacting and general fuzziness. There's this pervasive sense throughout that at least some of the backgrounds were ripped from Google Images without being checked for quality first.

No element of the game survives contact with the player. Alma is infuriating and malformed to the nth degree and I grow ever more tired of dwelling on it. Don’t bother with this one, folks.

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